


Styx

by agrove



Series: Nephilim [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angel Angel, Angel Spike, Angels, Azreal - Freeform, College, Death, Demons, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Heaven, Hell, Humor, Love, Mates, Pain, Romance, Sex, Tattoos, Torture, Wings, fangs, feathers - Freeform, initiative - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7703890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrove/pseuds/agrove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Nephilim. Forces beyond what Angel can comprehend are at work, making for an uncertain future. Meanwhile heavenly interference and earthly enemies are putting our favorite angel to the test.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A laugh unwillingly escaped Buffy as she tried to keep her attention on Giles, which was proving difficult with Angel standing behind him. On the ceiling. It was really quite a sight because his clothes and everything stayed perfect, his angelic abilities ignoring the laws of gravity.

Giles sighed heavily and removed his glasses, before placing a hand on his hip in agitation. "Really Buffy, what is so blasted amusing?"

Angel vanished just as Giles turned around causing Buffy to laugh harder and Willow to start to giggle uncontrollably. Even Xander began to chuckle.

Giles looked around the room before staring towards the heavens in exasperation, "He's here isn't he?" He laid his glasses on the table and crossed his arms, his lips pursed. "Show yourself Liam."

A contrite looking angel suddenly appeared a few feet in front of him with a mischievous smile and hunched shoulders, his wings tight to his back. He had the wounded puppy look down to a science. "Sorry. I'm bored."

"Yes that seems to happen quite often doesn't it?" he bit out sarcastically.

Angel chest heaved as a heavy sigh left him, walking over to a chair and collapsing on it with a huff a second later. "There's just nothing going on anywhere, it's weird. Home is safe, Hell is running smoothly and there's nothing big happening here. I've never sat still so long in my life. I need some action. I swear I'm thinking about starting a war just to have something to do."

Everyone looked uncomfortable at his words, no one knew it he was joking or serious. Xander even opened his mouth as if to ask before snapping it shut when he thought better.

The angel's request for action was granted as someone suddenly appeared in the shop and knocked Angel to the floor in a blur of leather and bleached hair. The pair fought and wrestled in a flurry of punches and wings, Xander yelping and jumping out of the way as the two headed towards him.

Willow glanced at Buffy who was watching her boyfriend affectionately, her best friend enjoying how carefree Angel was lately. Ever since mating with Buffy Angel had almost done a one-eighty in the personality department. He still had his serious moments and an extremely short temper but Buffy accepted them as his demon traits and enjoyed him for who he was. Her attention turned towards the angels when Angel growled playfully and Spike yelped before they both finally stilled with matching grins, the glint from Angel's fangs clearly visible.

Since he had come back everyone noticed small changes that weren't there before he ran Hell. His fangs, which used to only appear when he was angry, were now longer and mostly permanent, Angel only hiding them when absolutely necessary. His wings, which were huge before had grown another foot making them even larger and his eyes which used to turn from black to red when angry now turned completely red when he was furious, no white showing at all. Being in hell had definitely changed him but thankfully had not warped his mind in any way, at least as far as anyone could tell. No one asked and Buffy never discussed Angel's mental state with the gang.

Spike shoved Angel away laughing before jumping up off the floor. "Heard you needed some excitement." He looked around at the group and smirked, "Boring lot aren't they?"

Xander glared at the peroxide haired angel, "So sorry we're not up to your 'world in crises' level. I'll go cause chaos to amuse you."

Angel arched an eyebrow, "You seem to do that just fine on your own."

The teenager's jaw dropped as he looked at a smirking Angel and Spike before muttering something under his breath.

"I heard that!" Angel and Spike both barked a second later before laughing again. The shorter of the two fished out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Giles watched as he handed one to Angel and stuck one between his lips and flicked his lighter, "Not in the shop you two."

Angel glanced at Spike who rolled his eyes and a moment later the two disappeared leaving only a few feathers behind from their skirmish.

Giles watched as Angel's black feathers ignited and burned to ash before disappearing, another more recent side affect of his time in hell. "It's like having two juvenile delinquents with wings," he grumbled as he picked up Spike's white feathers. Angel had been around more and more lately, his duties lessening with each passing day allowing him to be on earth with Buffy quite often. Spike seemed to follow Angel like a little brother and wreaked havoc whenever he visited earth, which was at least once every couple weeks. He wasn't exactly sure which one was the bad influence, both seemed in dire need of some discipline and manners.

"Now that the children are gone can we please discuss what we know about Dracula?" he asked.

Xander groaned before slamming his book shut, ignoring Giles' wince at the treatment of the centuries old tome. "Why can't we just ask Angel? He knows stuff right?"

Buffy shook her head, "Whomever he got his information from isn't allowed to tell him anything else. The big man upstairs got upset that Angel could change events if he knew too much."

Xander jumped and released a very unmanly shriek when Spike materialized behind him and shouted, "Boo!" He clutched his mid section and laughed heartily before looking at Buffy with an easy smile, "Azrael needed Angel for hell business. Said he'll be back as soon as he can."

Buffy's face dropped as disappointment set in, Angel's 'hell business' never having a set length of time made it difficult to accept. "Right. Well I should probably go anyways," she offered as she gathered her belongings and stepped out of the shop into the sunlight.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple weeks later Buffy was sitting in the living room watching tv when the couch suddenly dipped next to her, a grin covering her face as she turned and met Angel's eyes. Not wasting anytime she climbed on his lap and kissed him deeply, his hands rising and fingers threading through her golden hair. The kiss continued as they both ground into each other, Angel's grip on her hips tightening as she kissed behind his ear. "Buffy," he panted weakly. "Your mom just drove up. I'm guessing she still doesn't know about me?"

She pulled back reluctantly, "You'd be guessing correctly. I think I'm going to tell her soon. I want you to be able to be over here with me."

"Do you want to tell her now?" he asked slowly and cautiously.

Nervousness filled the air as she heard her moms steps get closer and closer, Angel staring at her intensely for any indication of what she wanted him to do. "Tell me what you want," he whispered as they both heard a key enter the front door lock, the tumblers clicking into place.

Her eyes darted to the front door before cutting back to where Angel was still staring at her. "Hide your fangs," she said as she stood and ran over to the door to greet her mom.

Angel retracted them with some difficulty, they were so permanent now that he had to use energy to alter his appearance, and stood up to greet Buffy's mom.

Joyce pushed open the door and smiled at her daughter before noticing the man in the living room. She frowned and looked at Buffy who took the lead, "Mom you remember Angel right? Giles' assistant from a while back?"

She nodded slowly with narrowed eyes, "Yes, I do. Can I ask what he's doing here in my home with my daughter alone?"

Buffy blushed and Angel fought a smile at how uncomfortable she looked. He knew he could jump in at any moment and help her but this was far too amusing. "Oh, um… I just ran into him and invited him over." She subtly looked at Angel who looked unamused at her vague lie. A huge sigh escaped her and she looked at her mom again. "That's not true. Angel and I are uh... dating."

Joyce's eyebrows shot up to her hair line as she whipped around to look at Angel who was standing with his hands in his pockets, a neutral expression on his handsome face. "Excuse us, I need a word with my daughter," she managed to bite out before she practically drug Buffy to the kitchen. After throwing down her purse on the counter she crossed her arms and stared at her only child. "Buffy he's older than you, by a lot. I don't like this at all and I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me about him."

"I know he's older but I'm twenty now. I'm an adult and I love him. He's a really good person."

"I don't know Buffy. I don't even know him."

Buffy licked her lips wanting to tell her the truth but knew that that wouldn't fly at all. "Just give him a chance please?"

Joyce stared at her daughters pleading face and released a groan, "Fine. Lets go talk to him. I still don't lie this though."

They reentered the living room and Buffy felt her heart rate increase at his focused expression that was directed at the couch. If he was speaking to another angel and had to go now it would not look good to her mom.

Angel snapped out of his daze when he felt fear creep in from his bond and looked up at Buffy with a comforting expression. He knew it had looked like he was speaking to another angel but in reality he had just zoned out; it seemed to be happening a lot lately, which was strange. His foces had never waned before but then again he had always had something to focus on. When Joyce came closer he stuck out his hand, "Hello Ms. Summers, nice to see you again."

She shook his offered hand and indicated for them all to sit. "So Buffy tells me you're together?" He nodded once. "Now Angel, is that really your name?"

He shook his head, "No, my name is actually Liam."

"And how old are you Liam?"

Every part of Angel longed to say two millennia just to get a reaction but he kept it in. "Twenty-six."

"And what do you do?" she asked politely.

Run Hell. "Not much right now. I'm transitioning out from my last job so I help out Giles and everyone with whatever they need."

She nodded with pursed lips as she looked over his neck and arms, "Quite a few tattoos I see."

He glanced down at the burns and nodded slowly as memories assaulted his mind in quick succession, his relaxed smile slowly sliding off his face. "Yeah, quite a few," he said quietly.

Joyce picked up on the uncomfortable vibe coming from him and felt bad she had brought up a touchy subject. He seemed nice enough, polite and very handsome. Deciding to give him a break she paid him a compliment, "What color exactly are your eyes, they're beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen eyes that dark before."

Buffy looked at Angel sharply before looking back at her mom. Angel's eyes looked normal enough to people in passing but when you really looked at them you could tell something wasn't right, that normal people didn't have completely black eyes. It was the one thing, other than his sins, that he couldn't change or hide. "They're a really dark brown color. Angel didn't you have to be somewhere?"

He picked up on the hint and nodded, "Yes I should get going, I'm sure Mr. Giles will be needing me early in the morning. Pleasure Ms. Summers."

She smiled tightly, "You too Liam."

Buffy walked him outside where she blew out a breath and leaned against the exterior of the house, "That was too close. She's not happy about the boyfriend thing but I don't think she could handle the angel thing." His face darkened at his words and she noticed agitation coming from him in waves. "What?"

He shook his head, "Nothing."

"Talk to me Angel, what's got you wigging?" she asked as she grabbed his hand.

Sometimes he felt like such a whiny child but he couldn't help how he felt. "I don't like it when you call me your boyfriend."

She knew what he meant. Boyfriend indicated something not serious, something that everyone had. Mate was the word he was looking for. "I'll only use it when I have to then ok? I love you, I know you're my mate and I'm not afraid or ashamed to tell anyone that."

He nodded stiffly as his tongue slid around one of his fangs. "Right, well I'll see you later."

"Don't leave, talk to me. What's up?"

He rolled his eyes and turned around, "Just thinking lately. I just feel worthless all the time, not contributing to anything. It's just wearing on me and I'm sorry I'm taking it out on you." He continued lapping at his fangs and gums until Buffy called him on it.

"Stop that."

His eyes narrowed for a second, "They're bugging me. It hurts to keep them hidden."

"Sorry," she offered. "I'll tell mom who you are eventually."


	2. Chapter 2

The Magic box sat empty of customers but full of people on a lazy Tuesday afternoon, the sun shining through the front windows as the door opened to reveal the only one missing from the group. Xander entered cheerily with a large box and after plopping it down on the table opened it. Everyone grabbed doughnuts immediately and dug in except for Angel who was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling where six of Giles' orbs were circling at an alarming rate. "Feather face! - I mean Angel!"

The orbs froze in the air and Angel turned his head with an arched brow to look at the teen.

"You want a doughnut?"

His eyes narrowed, "Not if it's gross. I'm still not pleased about when you fed me brussels sprouts." Xander had taken it upon himself to show Angel the joys of food, every once in a while slipping in something gross to amuse himself.

Buffy began to giggle but stopped when she suddenly tripped on nothing on her return trip from the back room. "Jerk."

He grinned, "Love you too," before jumping up and walking over to the box and inspecting the brightly covered confections. He picked up a chocolate covered one with brightly colored sprinkles and took a bite as the orbs followed him lazily. His face lit up as he took another bite, his love of sugar clearly visible. "Lot better than brussels sprouts," he mumbled giddily around the food in his mouth.

"Angel can you please put the orbs down before you break them," Giles asked exasperatedly.

He blinked once and everything was back where it belonged. Willow watched him ruefully, "You do thing so effortlessly. I wish I could."

"Takes practice. Want to see something cool?" he asked as he shoved the last bite in his mouth and wiped his hands on his pants.

She nodded and he held out his hand where one of Giles' orb appeared in his palm. He walked over to Willow and kneeled down in front of her, "Hold this." Her hands reached out and gently cradled the glass sphere and she watched in amazement as storm clouds gathered inside and it began to rain. The orb began to fill with water until the tiny clouds cleared and a small sun appeared.

"That's amazing!"

He smiled proudly, "Nice party trick huh?" She nodded as he reclaimed the orb from her and watched it intensely, the sun suddenly hidden by dark clouds and lightening flashing violently. The miniature storm grew in intensity until the orb finally cracked, Angel not even noticing when water began to drip out onto his hand and arm.

"Angel?" His eyes snapped to Willow who looked extremely uncomfortable, "Your eyes are red." He frowned and blinked a few times until they felt normal again. "Are… are you ok?"

He felt everyone's eyes on him and made the orb and water disappear, "Fine, just spaced out for a minute." He knew Buffy was still watching him with concern but he wasn't about to tell her that its been harder and harder lately to keep himself focused and not thinking about hell. It seemed to always be on his mind, his thoughts much darker than usual and now they were manifesting in front of people. He could feel the heat rising up his neck and knew his cheeks were burning with embarrassment, he could easily disappear right now but that would only add fuel to the fire. Instead he settled on a diversion. "I haven't had a good fight lately, makes me tense."

"We could spar," Buffy offered.

While it was exactly what he wanted he hated that he had lied to his mate, something that he swore he'd never do. Greater good, he tried to convince himself before smiling. "Sounds great."

Angel hissed as he bared his fangs, his wings rippling with built up tension. To everyone else watching he looked menacing, frightening, and like he was going to rip out the slayers throat. Buffy on the other hand didn't look at anything but his eyes, which weren't blazing red but were completely black, indicating he wasn't filled with rage but with lust. He loved sparing with Buffy, playing with his mate that could match his intelligence and somewhat match his physical strength. It wasn't sparing to them it was playtime, where both didn't have to think about anything else but the other.

Buffy lunged at him again, her foot barely missing his head as he jerked back and threw a punch which was quickly blocked. The sparing session went on for some time until Buffy finally held up a reluctant hand, "As much as I hate to say it I'm done for today."

Everyone shuffled out of the room and as soon as the door clicked shut Angel shoved Buffy against the wall and licked up her neck before nipping at her soft skin with his sharp teeth, scratching but never breaking the skin. Buffy grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him away to meet his eyes. She loved his black eyes, eyes that only she got to see. Eyes filled with love and lust.

He tried to kiss her but she held him back by his hair, a frustrated growl escaping him as she continued to tease him. Done playing he brought his wings around and nudged her back forcing her to let go of him and fall backwards. She never had the chance to hit the ground before Angel caught and spun her around, pinning her hands above her head and growling dangerously, his eyes red around the edges.

Even though it went against her slayer instincts she allowed him to be the alpha and take control. With his demon side surfacing more from his connection to hell he was much more aggressive in the bedroom, his more animalistic traits coming forth.

"Angel, we can't do this here," she moaned between kisses. He completely ignored her, which was expected so she grabbed his head in both hands and repeated herself. His eyes turned red in an instant and his lips curled as he growled but Buffy ignored him. With a firm hand she pushed against his chest, "Don't get growly with me Mr. You better put those eyes away and calm down or I'll make you calm down."

She watched emotions fly past his face before his eyes darkened and he took a few steps backwards. His shoulders were slumped and he had a small pout on his face, he mumbled something and looked away.

"What was that?" Buffy asked with crossed arms.

"Sorry," he mumbled a little louder, sounding like a petulant child and not the ruler of hell.

She rubbed her hand down his cheek and stared up at him, "What's been with you lately? You know you can talk to me right?"

Instead of an answer all she got was a peck on the lips, his silence doing nothing to soothe her concerns.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later Angel entered the Magic Box behind Buffy snacking on pomegranate seeds. "I thought you didn't eat?" she asked curiously as the duo approached the table.

He shrugged, "I usually don't but I love pomegranate."

Willow tilted her head a little in thought, "The original forbidden fruit, the fruit that made God cast Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden. Makes sense I guess."

Angel's hand paused halfway to his mouth as he thought about what she said before he shrugged again and continued eating them. Everyone's attention was grabbed by the front door chime as Tara swept in with her usual serene smile. She greeted everyone but halted when her gaze landed on Angel. Her eyes widened and she began backing up slowly.

Buffy, having not noticed her reaction pointed at Angel, "Tara this is my boyfriend Angel. Angel, Tara."

"You…you're not human. You're evil," she whispered in horror. Angel's eyes narrowed as he watched her retreat and continue speaking. "So much hate and rage, so much darkness. What are you?"

Buffy looked at Willow before looking back at her, "Tara he's ok. Let us explain."

Angel smirked as he flashed his fangs, "You can see my aura can't you? Tell me little witch, what color is it?"

Tara shook her head, "Black. No colors at all, just pure black."

"Figured."

Buffy slapped his arm as Willow ran over to Tara and gave her a shortened version of what exactly Angel was. When she finished Tara came closer and looked at him in confusion. "You're an angel? And the antichrist?"

He bristled slightly at the term but nodded anyway, "Yes I am." He watched as her eyes drifted over his dark eyes and glistening canines before she looked at him again. "I'm sorry, it was just overwhelming when I looked at you. You're extremely powerful."

Giles looked very interested and even though he knew it would most likely upset Angel he looked at Tara, "What else are you getting off of him?"

Angel turned and glared at Giles who ignored him even though the low rumble of a growl filled the room. Tara looked uncomfortable when she glanced at Angel, "Um, a few things but I don't think…"

Giles cut her off, "Please."

With an uncomfortable glance in Angel's direction she took a deep breath, "There's a lot of darkness, pure evil. It's unlike anything I've ever felt. Pain, so much pain."

Buffy grabbed Angel's arm in concern, "What do you mean pain?"

Angel looked pissed, scared, and uncomfortable. A million different things all flying across his face. "That's enough," he stated in a low voice, his tone deadly.

Giles pressed Tara for more and she stuttered as her nerves got the best of her. "P..Pain. You… you cause things… pain. You like things to…hu…hurt."

Everyone else's eyes slowly slid to Angel who was growling deeply as his eyes blazed. Buffy laid her hand on Angel's shoulder to try to calm him down but it didn't work.

Xander looked at the growling figure with disgust, "You get off on torturing people? Is that what she means? You're sick."

"You know what I am Alexander, I've never hid it!" he seethed. "What did you think 'I run hell' meant you ignorant child?"

The lights in the shop flickered as thunder cracked through the air from the storm clouds gathering outside. Buffy grabbed Angel's face and forced his attention to her and away from everyone else. "Look at me Angel, you need to calm down ok? No one's judging you."

"I am," Xander spat.

A loud flash of lightning illuminated the shop as it began to hail outside, the wind blowing so hard that trash cans and branches flew through the air as people screamed and ran for cover.

"Shut up Xander," Buffy whispered harshly, never breaking eye contact with Angel. "Come back to me my Angel. Breath in and out, in and out. Do it for me ok?"

"You're nothing but a sick bastard," Xander continued. "You try to fit in but you'll never be like us because we have hearts and souls and you're just a black, hateful, thing." Someone outside screamed as lightning hit in the middle of the street, the light so bright that every one was blinded and when their vision returned they looked around.

Angel was on top of Xander, wings fully extended, with his face only inches from the teenagers growling as he bared his fangs. Everyone tried to get to them but one wave of Angel's hand sent them flying backwards, sprawling across the wooden floor, Buffy included.

Buffy was screaming, trying to reach him any way she could but it was like he didn't even know she was there. "No!" she screamed when Angel's sword appeared in his hand and everyone could only watch as he lifted it.

Xander clenched his lids shut as he waited to die but they flew open when a thud was heard next to his ear. Angel's sword was impaled into the wood barely an inch from his head and with a final growl he disappeared, his sword with him. The only evidence anything had happened was the long thin hole in the floor next to him.

No one moved for several seconds until Willow crawled over to Xander to check on him, Giles and Tara picking themselves off the ground shakily. Buffy however just stayed on the floor, silent tears streaming down her face as blinding rage and fury began to creep into her subconscious. Angel's emotions were too much, too strong and even though she fought against them they pushed through the bond, breaking her heart with every passing second.


	3. Chapter 3

No one saw or heard from Angel for weeks after the incident much to Buffy's concern and everyone else's relief. Many a time she focused on the connection between them to know if he was all right and everything felt fine so she just waited it out until he finally appeared again.

She was eating macaroni and cheese in the kitchen when Angel suddenly appeared in the corner, most of him completely bathed in shadows from the rapidly setting sun. She smiled brightly and began to move towards him but stopped when he held out a shaking hand indicating stop.

"Angel?" she asked softly when he wouldn't look at her. She took another step towards him but halted when he looked up and growled, his eyes ruby colored and feral. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and her slayer instincts kicked into high gear at the vacant look in his eyes. She longed to touch him but wisely stayed back, not moving for fear of startling him.

The clock on the wall chimed loudly a few minutes later and Angel grabbed his head and gritted his teeth as a low whine came from there back of his throat. A moment later he sucked in a deep breath and looked at Buffy with his normal black eyes, confusion clouding them.

"Are you ok?" she asked somewhat wearily.

He swallowed thickly and took an unsteady step forward. "I'm fine. When I'm down there for a while it's hard to shake the hell off when I come to earth. It's like I'm there but not in control."

She grabbed him into a tight hug and frowned at his scent, instead of spice and fresh rain he smelt smoky and metallic like blood. "Are you sure you're ok?"

He frowned, "Why do you keep asking me that?"

She stayed silent and hoped he didn't read her mind. Every time he left for hell and came back he seemed to be more and more different, more like a demon and less like an angel. It worried her to no end that he was changing but there was nothing she could do about it except hope God and Spike were watching him enough to stop anything from going horribly wrong. "I just don't want anything to ever happen to you."

He smiled, "It won't. Can't die remember?"

Buffy wasn't worried about him dying; she was worried about him turning into something terrible. She forced a smile and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him before wrapping herself around him in a tight embrace. "I missed you so much."

Angel simply nodded before dropping down into a kitchen chair and fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth. "I uh… I'm sorry. For, you know. Everything," he offered uncomfortably. "A mate deserves better."

Buffy pulled out a chair across from him and lifted her legs to her chest, her arms wrapping around them. "You scared me, everyone really. It's like you didn't even know I was there anymore, all you could focus on was Xander."

He blew out a slow breath, "I would never purposely hurt them, I just…"

"Just what?" she asked as she finally scooted over and touched him.

"I'm not made for this Buffy. Earth, friends, all of it isn't something that comes naturally to me. This is commonplace for you but this is foreign to me. I was literally made to destroy things."

"I know," she whispered before rising up and climbing on his lap to accept the comfort she knew he wanted to give. "Just please don't do that again ok?"

He ever so gently grabbed her face and met her eyes, "I'll get control of myself."

They continued to sit in the kitchen locked in a tight embrace until Buffy whispered, "I felt you. I could feel everything. It was- I don't want to ever feel like that again. I don't want you to feel like that ever again."

He stiffened and his breathing faltered, the shock evident. When she lifted her head to look at him he blinked a few times as his jaw hung slack. "That's not supposed to happen. You're not supposed to get anything off me, I'm so sorry slayer."

She smiled shakily, "Been a while since you called me that."

"Been a while for a few things," he grinned and hugged her closely again, reveling in the warmth and comfort she always seemed to provide. "I'll figure this out, I won't make you feel that again."

"That's not the point," she lightly argued. "I don't want you to feel like that. You're my mate, I don't want you to be that angry. You're suffering whether you realize it or not." She paused and took in a steadying breath before adding, "And you're scared."

"I'm not scared of anything," he immediately rebuked as his grip around her tightened a fraction. "There's just some things going on in hell but I've got it under control, everything fine. You worry about what's going on here and I'll worry about down there alright?"

It was definitely not the answer she wanted but she knew better than to push at this particular moment. Feeling fear through the bond, even if it was only a whisper was disconcerting but she could only trust that he was telling the truth, even though she had a strong feeling he wasn't.

They rose and walked into the entryway of the house but got side tracked before they could begin to walk up the stairs to Buffy's room. Angel pushed Buffy against the wall and kissed her deeply, trying to show her just how much he loved her, how much he hated that he had scared her for no reason. His enormous wings were visible and quivering slightly as his reflective eyes traced her every feature lovingly. Soft pants escaped Buffy's lips as Angel growled deep in his chest and nipped at her soft skin.

Both were so engrossed in each other that they didn't hear the door behind them open and hurried footsteps approach them. A moment later both were completely aware there was someone else in the room because a hand grabbed Angel's wing making his eyes snap open in shock and pain as he fell to his knees from the horrible burning.

"Buffy what in the world…" Joyce asked but stopped when she took in Angel's pained expression and Buffy rubbing his head and whispering soothing things in his ear.

"Stay calm Angel, please. It was an accident. Just breath every things ok."

Joyce crossed her arms, "What are you two doing and why is he wearing fake wings? Oh my God, are you two role playing in my house?" She looked at Buffy who was ignoring her before looking back at Angel and grabbing his wing again to shake it to get his attention.

Angel growled as his eyes turned red and his wings flapped aggressively.

"Mom, stop touching him!" Buffy shouted. Joyce stepped back in surprise at her daughter's tone as Angel sucked in sharp breaths through his nose trying to push away the pain and anger that was flooding through his system. "You can't touch his wings it hurts him."

"Buffy what are you talking about? They're fake."

"No they're not. Mom, Angel's not Giles' assistant or anything. He's not… human," she finished quietly.

Joyce frowned heavily and shook her head disbelievingly, "Well then what is he?"

Angel finally gathered himself enough to stand but didn't bother altering his appearance at all, his glowing red eyes and fangs clearly visible as his wings trembled from the pain.

Joyce began moving backwards, "Oh my God, what are you? What did you do to Buffy?"

Buffy looked confused, "He didn't do anything to me. Let me explain."

Joyce shook her head back and forth fearfully and Angel huffed in annoyance. "Save your breath." With two of his long strides he reached out his hand and placed his palm to Joyce's head only to pull back a moment later when a single tear fell down her face.

Buffy looked concerned and went to walk to her mom but froze when Joyce looked at Angel in awe. "You… you're an angel?" she whispered.

He nodded as he shook out the last bit of tension from his wings and took a commanding stance, chest proud and arms crossed. "Not the kind mentioned in the bible but yes, I'm a servant of God."

Joyce looked unsure and afraid, "But your eyes and teeth…"

"Like I said, I'm not the kind mentioned in the bible."

"So why are you here? You're not taking Buffy are you? She's too young!" she cried.

Buffy approached her mom and laid a hand on her shoulder, "Mom, chill. He's not here for me. Well he is but not like that. He's just my boyfriend." At the low growl behind her she rolled her eyes. "Mate."

"I just don't understand," she whispered.

The next hour was spent in the living room, Buffy trying to inform her mother of everything that had happened while Angel stood in the corner watching the pair interact. He never interrupted and was not surprised when Buffy left out all references to him being the antichrist, that was a story for another day, or never.

"So you knew she's the slayer," he finally asked as the conversation winded down.

Joyce nodded, "Yes, it wasn't easy to accept but we've moved past it. It's just unreal to me that an angel is standing in my living room."

Angel never replied as his eyes were locked on his mate who was rubbing her eyes and yawning. "If you don't mind Joyce I think it's time for Buffy to rest, it's been a long few weeks." Without waiting for a reply he walked over and easily picked up the small slayer in his arms before ascending the stairs and entering her bedroom. With a blink of his eyes they were dressed for bed and without hesitation he dropped down on the bed and pulled up the comforter. "I will love you forever, no matter where forever takes… me."

Buffy hummed softly, the words not registering in her sleep muddled brain before her eyes drifted shut, her green eyes never noticing Angel's desperate and lost expression or the way a single silent tear fell down his cheek as he clung to her desperately.

When she awoke she wasn't surprised to find herself alone, Angel didn't need to sleep so he often rose long before she did out of sheer boredom. After slipping on a robe she walked down the stairs and stifled a laugh at the sight of Angel sitting on the couch opposite of Joyce watching a soap opera. "Why does Fernando stay with Jessica if he knows she's cheating on him with his twin brother? Why doesn't he punish both of them?"

Joyce shrugged, "Well I'm sure he's staying with her until the baby is born, after all his inheritance depends on it."

Angel shook his head and pursed his lips, "Petty humans with their lust and greed." At Joyce's expression he blushed, "Sorry."

"Speaking of, I don't want grandchildren right now. Just as a warning."

"Not something you have to worry about," he replied candidly. "So I must say, you're taking this better than Buffy or I could have imagined."

"Well," she began as Buffy leaned closer to hear the answer. "I know Buffy lives a dangerous lifestyle and I'm just happy she has someone to watch and help her with it. You're an angel, what more could I ask for in terms of protection. I still don't understand it and of course still have reservations but only time will tell if they're well founded or not. I'll ask you this though, would you die for her? Would you sacrifice for her? She's a special girl and deserves someone that can not only make big decisions but also little ones when the time comes. Can you put her first, always?"

"I assure you, she is my absolute everything. I would sacrifice everything I have and am for her in an instant." Finishing, he turned a little with a quirk to his brow to look at his eavesdropping mate.

Buffy blushed, of course he knew she was there, before finally walking forward and plopping down in between the pair. "Good morning!"

"Good morning honey," Joyce greeted happily before both turned when Angel let out a strangled noise, his eyes glued to the drama on the tv.

"Oh my Father! Fernando's sleeping with the neighbor?!"


	4. Chapter 4

Angel walked instead of flew to the Magic Box to see everyone for the first time since the, well lets just go with incident. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and his eyes were trained firmly on the ground trying to think of anyway he could come out of this somewhat unscathed. He knew he overreacted at the time but how do you explain to someone that's human how you turn feral sometimes, that your rage can consume you to the point that all higher brain function completely turns off?

A small sigh followed by a scoff escaped him as he turned the corner and saw the shop rapidly approaching. He was the leader, well sort of, of Hell. He could do this, after all these were just mere humans and he was the commander of Heavens entire army. His chest swelled with newfound confidence, he could do this.

He couldn't do this.

"And then you tried to stab me in the face!" Xander screamed as Willow babbled off to the side, Giles also talking but his words getting lost among all the others.

If I were trying I wouldn't have missed. "I'm sorry ok? I don't know what else to say, I messed up."

"Yeah you did!" the young man shouted as his arms waved wildly. "And then you went all Thor on Sunnydale, there was a tornado, a tornado, in my neighbors front lawn. Those lawn gnomes are looking for the yellow brick road I tell you because they are gone!"

"Xander that's quite enough," Giles finally interrupted in his most authoritative tone. He turned and faced the angel who even though physically looked contrite, his eyes held slight irritation. "What you did was frightening, unnecessary, and almost unforgivable. You will not be welcome in this shop if something even close to those proportion happens again. The only reason I'm not banning you right now is because of Buffy. If you don't want to be called the antichrist stop acting like it."

Angel blanched, his words hitting harder than he'd like to admit. "You're right," he said quietly. "I'll keep myself together." He walked over to Xander and ignored his harsh flinch, "Do you know why I was so angry?"

"Because you run on rage not rainbows?"

He sighed and couldn't help but allow a small grin before sobering. "I was so upset because I actually care what you all think of me. I shouldn't, Father knows I shouldn't but I do. Other than Spike you're the first ones to actually welcome me as a friend. It hurt, it hurt more than I want to admit lot to have my secrets splayed wide for you all to see and judge."

Everyone quieted as they digested the information he was giving, Willow finally breaking the silence. "I know that must have taken a lot to say. I, I think we all have some things to work on."

Xander eyed him critically, "But you torture people, and like it."

Instead of getting angry the angel simply nodded. "I can't help what I am but I do try my best to shield all of you from my world. There are things about me that disgust you, and I understand that, but I'm not going to change. Human morals are different than mine and all I ask is that you try to understand that."

"I don't like you," Xander offered as a slight sign of a truce. "My friends don't usually try to decapitate me. You need like prozac or something dude, you're freaking out there. There is no left field, you're not even in the stadium." The angel simply nodded as his head tilted to the side in question. "But I can put up with you, for Buffy's sake."

"That's all I ask," he said with a hint of finality, effectively ending the conversation mere seconds before Buffy pushed open the shop door.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Willow."

The red headed girl jumped at the sound of her name and flapping wings and turned after placing a hand on her pounding heart. "Geeze Angel! You scared the petunias out of me! I haven't seen you in days, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," he offered with an obvious quirk to his eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I look at your house first?"

"I know that," she said with a small sigh. "I meant in my kitchen at 7:30am. Any who what can I do for you?"

He opened his mouth before snapping it shut and dropping into a chair next to her at the table. "I… hear it's customary as a human tradition to present rings as a sign of permanent devotion to another."

A slow grin began to creep across her lips as she laid down her pen and turned to face him better. "You want to propose to Buffy, is that it?"

He huffed a little and colored, "It's not like we need it or anything, we're already mates. You know what forget it." He began to rise but suddenly halted at the red heads voice.

"No! Sit down mister," she interrupted. "I think it's sweet and Buffy would really love it. What can I help with?"

"Everything," he groaned as his shoulders slumped slightly. "I'm afraid I'm lost when it comes to human traditions and customs and you're the only one I could ask. I dare not ask Giles and Xander for fear of retribution, and I would hate to maim people Buffy cares so deeply about."

Willow's eyes widened a little but she still smiled unsurely, "Well, I guess we could go ring shopping today."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why are we all out her patrolling again?" Xander complained late that evening, the full moon making it seem almost like daylight. "Can't Angel like smite them or something with his freaky mind thing?"

"Could," the angel offered. "Giles wants you guys to practice on vamps though so I'm benching myself, presence and all."

Giles nodded from behind the group, "While Buffy and Angel are completely competent in their slaying abilities I worry about you and Willow, Xander. It is of utmost importance that you two know how to protect yourselves and stay sharp with your skills."

"Practice so you don't get eaten, got it G-man."

Everyone paused as a tall mocha skinned man in a navy pinstriped suit suddenly appeared in front of them, his deep voice washing over them. "A word if you please?"

Everyone frowned in confusion at the new arrival except Angel who was backing away slowly with a frightened expression. Knowing it was stupid but finding they did it instinctually everyone stepped in front of him protectively. While no one really acknowledged it or could think of the exact moment it happened Angel was now a part of their rag tag bunch and they protected their own, even if their own was a psychotic angel with a temper.

The man huffed impatiently and crossed his arms in front of himself, "Liam don't make this more difficult than it needs to be. I can make you obey if I so choose you petulant little child."

Everyone turned to look at Angel who had hunched shoulders and was starting to quiver slightly. He halted his movements but didn't move closer to the man.

"Seraphiel… I… I didn't do anything I swear. I've been good. I promise I've been good."

Giles gasped softly, this was the leader of the Seraphim, the highest Angel in heaven and he obviously had control over Angel. The watcher took in the younger angels terrified expression, so different from his usual menacing and slightly mocking look. His eyes were trained on the other angel but never making direct contact and he was starting to shake uncontrollably. Giles' eyes widened when he recognized the behavior, Seraphiel had abused Angel at some point, enough to scare him now with just his appearance.

The man snapped his fingers and Angel was suddenly in front of him, a thick metal collar attached to a heavy ball around his neck. The weight must have been tremendous because it jerked Angel to the ground as soon as it appeared forcing him to remain seated uncomfortably on the ground. "Just existing is enough for you. I've been looking everywhere for you and imagine my surprise when I find out you've been hiding on earth, slumming it with these… humans."

Angel looked up defiantly as he struggled trying to force the collar off, "I don't hide. Why are you even here?"

Seraphiel kicked Angel in the stomach making him collapse into a heap and cough out a mouthful of blood. "I didn't say you could speak you disgusting little piece of filth. You see; I'm here because I've heard whispers that you aren't as… angelic, as you used to be. Now I'm here to determine if you deserve to live or not."

Buffy opened her mouth but a desperate look from Angel silenced her. "Father sent me to the pit, he commanded it. I'm only doing what's asked of me."

"You never do what's asked of you!" the dark man seethed. "You're a disease, a wound that's getting infected. Father doesn't see it but I do. You don't belong with us you're a thing. You should have been smote the second you were born. I mean look at you; the teeth, the everything isn't right."

Angel opened his mouth but choked when Seraphiel held out a hand and squeezed it into a fist. Blood began flowing from his mouth and nose as he clawed helplessly at the invisible force.

Buffy struggled against Xander, Giles, and Willow as she tried to help but Giles whispering to her finally stopped her. "He can make you disappear forever with a single thought. Calm down, for us, for Angel."

Angel fell to the ground gasping finally and rolled onto his back weakly, "You can't smote me, he won't let you."

Seraphiel laughed coldly as he reached down and grabbed his shirt before punching him hard in the side of the head, "Who? God? He doesn't care about you anymore. You're turning into your father boy and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

Angel froze as his jaw went slack, his eyes widening. "Wha… what?"

The seraph laughed darkly, "You think everything that's been happening is going to go away? You're turning darker everyday and at the rate you're going you're going to be even worse than your serpent of a father. In fact," he sneered, "Why don't you go down there to see how your future home is looking. I might not be able to kill you permanently but I can make you wish I could."

Buffy shouted as Seraphiel suddenly picked up Angel, his wings flapping wildly as he screamed and fought, and threw him down to the ground with tremendous force but instead of hitting earth he went right through it. The cemetery was silent and still until Buffy broke away from the group and over to the spot the two angels had been, but there was nothing there. Not even footprints.

Immense fear flooded into Buffy through the bond before suddenly, nothing.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time seemed to crawl by for everyone, no one having any idea if Angel was all right at this point. They knew he couldn't die permanently but Seraphiel seemed to be all powerful, much more than Angel could handle plus it had been almost two months without any sign of him. Buffy had prayed and focused on the bond but she would only get small whispers of feelings, nothing compared to what they usually had.

"Come back to me my Angel," she whispered sadly as she patrolled through the cemetery. "I'm getting really scared."

The hair suddenly stood up on the back of her neck as the strong smell of sulfur entered her nostrils.

Angel appeared suddenly at a very high rate of speed and after a tumble rolled through the cemetery uncontrollably smashing through tombstones. His wings were visible for all to see which was a huge indication that something was very wrong, he never showed them without being one hundred percent sure no one was around. Buffy ran over to where he finally stopped and knelt down beside him to see thick blood being expelled from his mouth. He was coughing and gasping as he settled on all fours vomiting, his wings tense behind him, contracting with every heave.

"What's happening? Angel, what's wrong?" she asked frantically.

He finally stopped and wiped his mouth on the arm of his jacket before rolling onto his back in exhaustion. "Had to get out. Finally got out."

She frowned as she rubbed a hand through his damp hair, "I don't understand, what's happening. Where were you? I was so scared."

His eyes looked wide and frightened, his normally cool demeanor gone as he struggled to sit up. "My blood. It's all wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen. Seraphiel was right."

Buffy shook her head, "I still don't…" the words died on her lips when she noticed the blood he had thrown up wasn't red, but black.

"Angel what is that?"

He looked terrified as he whispered, "Tar."

Buffy looked worried but clearly was missing something, "Why are you throwing up tar?"

He coughed thickly before looking at her, "Demon's have black blood. My father didn't have blood at all, he had…"

"…tar."


	5. Chapter 5

When the pair arrived at her house they both were silent, just as they had been the entire walk home. Buffy sighed in relief as she remembered her mother was away on business and quietly led the way to the living room where Angel sat down slowly staring off into space. She took in his far away expression and lost eyes, his rigid posture but slumped shoulders and felt her heart break.

"Angel," she whispered, afraid to break the silence. "What happens now?"

He didn't respond for several minutes until finally he turned his head to stare at her, his black eyes for once looking lifeless and dull. "I have no idea. It'll be fine though, it always is."

She let out a watery laugh and hugged him tightly, cringing at the stench of death and blood surrounding him. "You're a terrible liar."

He smiled weakly, it never reaching his eyes before it quickly faded from his handsome face. He looked older than when he was thrown into Hell, his complexion more pale and under his eyes darker.

A sniffle unwillingly escaped her before she asked, "Where were you?"

"I have no idea," he answered in confusion and slight awe. "It was hell, obviously, but nowhere I've ever seen. The souls there, the demons… It was-"

"Was what?" she asked innocently.

Instead of continuing he grabbed on to her desperately and met her gaze, his eyes crazed. "Something is happening to me, something bad. I don't want you to get caught in the middle of it. Plus with Seraphiel on the rampage…" He let out a slow breath before quietly but firmly proclaiming, "I think I should stay away for a while, a long while."

She scoffed at the idea and held him tighter, "You're joking right? I'm not letting you leave right now! You just got back and with all this happening now is the time I should be at your side. And what is the deal with Seraphiel, he made you look like tissue paper."

He winced at the comparison before laying down on the couch and pulling Buffy on top of him, his hands running though her hair and his eyes tracing every line on her face. "Whenever I became too much to handle, whenever Father was busy Seraphiel got me back in line. He uh, he was rough on me."

"He hurt you didn't he?"

Her answer came in a barely perceptible nod. "He never liked me, ever. When Father ripped my wings off I remember him laughing. I didn't run from him, ever, I just… try not to stand out when he's around. I know I'm more powerful than him but when he's there it's like everything else just disappears, he's all I can see." He looked away before gritting his teeth, "I'm weak."

"You're not weak," Buffy insisted firmly. "You were abused, you need to deal with that. Why did everyone allow this to happen? Why didn't anyone stop it?" she asked in anger. "Where was God? Or Spike?"

"Long before Spike and don't blame Father. He has a lot more to worry about than an insubordinate angel with an anger problem. You keep forgetting it's not all fluffy clouds and halos."

Silence rained down upon them again, only the sound of Buffy's breathing breaking through the night. "We will find a way to fix all of this, but until we do you cannot go back to hell. For anything."

He nodded in agreement before pushing all his worries deep down and forcing a smile. "I missed you so much. You're beautiful, you know that?"

She returned his smile shyly and leaned down to kiss him, a soft moan leaving Angel when their lips met. "I haven't got to do that in a long time," he said softly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you, you're what kept me going." Buffy kissed him again, long and slow before grabbing his shirt and trying to wrestle him out of it.

When he began to chuckle she giggled and mock glared. With a blink he was down to just his boxers and began laughing harder at her put out expression. "I could have done that."

"No you couldn't have, wings remember?" He leaned up and kissed her nose before she shoved him back down.

"Don't do anything. Just relax ok? I'll take care of the rest."

"Demanding."

"You love it," she grinned mischievously.

Hands roamed as time slipped away, both finding the security and comfort in the other that they craved. Buffy never said a word about the slowly fading scars across his back that she knew must have been recent and harsh to still be there and when Angel anxiously met her eyes she kissed away his fears and softly whispered, "We'll talk when you're ready," before gently biting on his ear lobe.

Hours later the two watched the sunrise, Angel's soft voice floating over her as he recounted the best places in the world to watch it, promising they would go to every single one when the time was right.

A soft groan left Buffy as she looked at the clock, "I have to get ready for the day. I have school this afternoon and I needed to swing by the magic shop this morning, are you coming with me to talk to everyone about all this?"

The simple sentence broke through the angels relaxed state and shattered the calmness they had achieved, Angel jumping up and spinning to face her as his wings puffed slightly. "This is none of their business Buffy," he argued. "Everyone already hates me, the last thing I need is to give them conformation that I'm turning into a monster!"

Buffy crossed her arms, "Maybe they can help and they don't hate you. Xander might a little but Willow doesn't or Giles! Please, just come with me. I won't say anything but I really don't want to leave you alone right now, please?"

His wings dropped a fraction at her pleading expression before he sighed, the large objects wilting until the bottoms laid across the carpet in the living room. "Okay."

A knock on the door grabbed their attention but the smell of the person was unrecognizable to Angel. "I'll meet you there." With a quick kiss the angel disappeared, Buffy walking towards the door and swinging it open. "Oh hey Riley."

As Angel flew through the town, quickly and unnoticed, his mind began to wander to what had happened these last two months. He ran Hell, he knew every nook and cranny or so he thought. The place Seraphiel threw him though, that was something else. Something darker and more evil than he could have imagined. A shudder ran through him as his breathing increased, memories and thoughts about the pit entering his mind. He was so distracted that he overshot the landing, instead of landing quietly amid the group just to scare Xander he ended up landing almost entirely on Willow. He quickly grabbed her and covered her best he could as he rolled to a stop before finally smacking into the back wall with a loud crack. "Are you ok?" he anxiously asked the redhead who was starting to sit up.

"Aside from all these little birdies flying around my head? Great," she offered as she shakily stood up and took stock of her injuries, or lack of. "I'm good, what happened?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Giles wondered as he helped Angel up. "Is everything all right? Where's Buffy? Where have you been?"

He went for the safest answer first. "On her way," he responded before flapping his wings a few times before making them disappear. "Sorry about the crash landing, I was thinking about something. And I'm back… obviously."

Giles glanced over him in concern but nodded anyway. "We weren't sure you were coming back this time. Are you bleeding?" he asked as he noticed a small cut on his forearm.

"NO!" he exclaimed louder than he intended, his hand slapping down on the injury. "No, it's fine. It'll be gone in a few minutes. So uh, what have I missed?"

Willow, who had retreated a safe distance away to gather herself, turned slightly. "Not a whole bunch. I mean a few baddies but nothing Buffy couldn't handle."

Giles nodded in agreement. "We also ran into a few soldiers, or a group posing as some. It was slightly disconcerting because of the um, well, nightlife here but we haven't seen them again so I'm not too terribly concerned."

Angel nodded taking in all the information before flinching when Giles began questioning him again, "The Seraph, I'd like to talk to you about him if you have the time."

His entire body went rigid, his expression taut with tension. "For your journals, of course. I…" he began before Giles took a step closer and dropped his voice, concern shining from behind his glasses.

"I'd like to speak with you about the abuse, if you're willing. The journals can come later."

Angel's eyes widened as he paled, his imposing force vanishing in an instant leaving only a scared child in its wake. "He never, I mean not really. It's just," he managed to get out before the bell rang from over the front door. Giles turned to see who it was and when he turned back Angel was gone.

"You ok?" Buffy asked as she shut the front door to the shop and looked to her right at Angel.

He nodded shakily as his weary eyes darted to Giles and back to her. "Rough flight. Who was at the door when I left?"

"The TA from my psych class. Are you sure you're ok? You're shaking."

His eyes widened a hair as he cleared his throat and stood to his full height, "I'm fine."

She wanted to scream that he wasn't fine, that he was far from it. Something was different about him, something had happened in Hell that he didn't want to speak about. He seemed scared, no petrified, and she had caught him flinching more than once last night when she moved suddenly or raised her hands as if waiting for the next blow. This wasn't her Angel, this was someone running scared.

She bit her lip but didn't want to cause a scene so she walked fully into the shop and over to the table where Willow and Giles were standing. When she noticed neither was looking at her she followed their gaze to where angel was still standing staring off into space with a weary expression. As if he felt their eyes on him he turned slowly and met everyone's concerned gazes before staring down at the floor in what seemed to be shame.

Buffy turned and faced the other two, dropping her voice but knowing Angel could still hear. "I know you're both curious but even I don't know what happened. He'll tell us when he's ready. Can we please just talk about our newest baddy?"

Giles nodded instantly, "Of course."

As the watcher launched into the latest happenings Willow scribbled something on a piece of paper and slid it over to Buffy, her eyes nervously darting to the angel now sitting in the corner staring at the wall with his long arms wrapped around himself.

Is Angel ok?

No.


	6. Chapter 6

"Angel."

"Angel can you hear me?"

"Liam!"

The angel jumped slightly, his hands clutching the arm rests of the chair in Buffy's living room tightly before turning with wide eyes. "What?"

"I just asked if you were feeling well, you seem to be a bit pale," Joyce asked softly.

He nodded jerkily, "Fine, everything's fine." It sounded ridiculously even to his ears but he ignored that fact. "When will Buffy be home again?"

"About another hour, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you went to the college to meet her though."

He grimaced slightly but stood, "That, that sounds good. Yes, I'll meet her. Thanks."

Joyce simply nodded as she watched him walk towards the front door, swinging it open and running into the frame before shaking his head and closing the door. With a soft sigh she turned and walked to the kitchen to begin making dinner, her mind with the man… angel that had just left. She knew logically that he was much older than he looked, older than she could comprehend but when looking at him it was difficult to not just see a young man. A lost, confused, and scared young man.

Angel walked towards the college slowly but instead of being deep in thought it was like his mind was just off. His feet moved on autopilot to the place he rarely visited, his eyes firmly on the sidewalk and his growing shadow from the rapidly setting sun. It was just after dark when he finally looked up and saw the school, a soft smile spreading across his lips before he froze as a small noise was heard to his right.

He looked around but saw no one and even though he could smell a few people he dismissed them as human and not a threat. It was only a few steps later that he felt an immense pain and heat in the back of his neck before his eyes slipped closed.

Angel groaned as he woke, his eyes unfocused and his body aching. When his eyes finally began to focus he glanced around at his surroundings and frowned in confusion when he realized he was in some sort of cell, the pristine white all around him disorienting. "What in the world?" he mumbled as he stood and walked to the glass front, his hands splayed against the door. With a shake to his head to try to push away his headache he prepared to fly but when he splayed his wings he suddenly realized something was wrong and it was difficult to not panic.

Someone had clipped his wings.

He couldn't fly.

"No, no, no…" he whispered as he grabbed onto his wing and inspected the hacked feathers and bones. He quickly did a mental check and his eyes snapped open when he realized he couldn't hear anyone, couldn't talk to Spike, couldn't anything. He was cut off from Heaven, how was that even possible? He wasn't feeling sick or hungry so he was at least still partially connected but he wasn't getting enough power to fly or communicate with anyone.

"Hello?" he shouted as he tucked his wings in tightly against his back, hating that he couldn't hide and protect them. "No!" he gasped as his eyes clenched closed, realization hitting him that he couldn't even get to his sword.

He was aware that there was either demons or people next to him, he could hear heartbeats and breathing, but he couldn't see anything other than just white. Footsteps met his ears and he watched through narrowed eyes as a woman walked to the glass with a clipboard and two men dressed in combat gear.

"Specimen 178 is awake. Do you speak English?"

Angel flashed her an annoyed look, "Obviously. Where am I and who are you?"

"Who I am is of no concern of yours," she answered. "As for where you are, you're in a holding and testing facility for demons."

He knew better than to correct her and stayed silent to try to collect as much information as possible.

"What do you eat?"

"I don't," he replied as he stared at each person closely trying to get anything he could from their faces. When she arched an eyebrow he pursed his lips. "I don't know, doughnuts? What do you want me to say? Why am I here?"

The woman walked closer and stared at him, ignoring his words as she lifted a tape recorder to her mouth and pressed record. "Specimen 178. Height six-three, weight two-hundred five pounds. Hair and eyes are unnaturally black, skin is marked with markings of some sort. Two large fangs, not similar to a vampire. Two wings protruding from shoulder blades, approximately eight and a half feet long and same black color as hair and eyes, save for a silver streak on the right which was removed during clipping. Speaks English and seems to have higher brain function, has informed me it does not eat."

"It?" Angel demanded before her words caught up with him. He quickly grabbed his wing and jerked it in front of him staring at the damage but it was the missing streak that pained him the most. He knew logically that he and Buffy were still mated but he was now unmarked, it was wrong. All of this was wrong.

"Yes it," she spat. "Demons are not people, they are things."

He growled softly and when she whacked the glass with her clipboard his eyes ignited red as his wings flared out best they could in the small room. She smiled darkly and grabbed the recorder again, "Eyes change color to red when agitated, also posturing. What species are you?"

Angel just bared his fangs and pounded on the glass, his fists smashing into the barrier. When nothing happened he took a step back before thrusting his fist forward into the glass, cracks spidering from the impact point. The woman's eyes widened as she looked at the two men next to her, "Why is the glass breaking? That's not supposed to happen!"

Seeing he was making progress he continued to punch the glass ignoring the blood splattering from his split knuckles. He got in a few more good punches before he suddenly felt exhausted, the fact he was mostly cut off affecting him greatly. He stepped back and surveyed the damage but could see that while the glass was weakened and cracked it was in no way broken completely. A huff left him as he stared heatedly at the women smirking on the other side. Focusing all his energy he smirked as he used the last shred of energy he had. "Your time will come Maggie." The woman's eyes widened before she hurried off, Angel collapsing against the wall as his eyes drifted shut.

When he woke for the second time he looked around but couldn't tell how long it had been, the windowless room giving no indication of daylight or the moon. He scooted over to the back corner and stretched out his legs, a weary sigh leaving him as he wondered how long he would be down here.

They're going to torture you.

He choked on his breath as he smashed his back into the wall and looked around wildly for the voice.

Just like you deserve boy.

"Ser… Seraphiel?" he whispered in fear. He waited but no one appeared he ground his teeth together in realization. The voice was coming from his head.

You can't ever escape me; even your own mind betrays you.

"Get out of my head," he whispered brokenly.

I'm not really here you idiotic abomination, this is all you. You're beginning to crack, that feeble thing you call a mind starting to crumble. You're going to die here, alone. Your mate will perish.

"Get out!" he screamed as he banged his head against the hard walls over and over, his fingers pulling on his hair as he released a frustrated grunt. When he heard a soft knock he jerked and noticed the boy from earlier standing and staring. He uncurled himself and stood to his full height before walking over to the glass and standing about a foot away.

The pair stood in silence, Angel trying his hardest to get a read off the boy but with his declining energy it just wasn't happening. He tilted his head to one side and crossed his trembling arms waiting to hear what he would say.

"What are you? You're not in any of out databases."

"Do you believe in God?" he asked carefully.

Surprised by the question the soldier shrugged, "Not sure. Why?"

"Maybe it's something you should think about," he said quietly before his wing began to itch. He shook it slightly and watched the muscular and light haired young man stare at it closely, his hands tightening on his weapon. When it didn't stop Angel grabbed it and brought the itching spot to his mouth to chew on the end.

He flashed him a repulsed look and Angel glared, a small ring of red around his ebony eyes. "Whoever clipped me butchered my wings, they itch. Why are you watching me?" he demanded before he brokenly asked, "What do you want?"

The young man was quiet for a bit before he finally answered. "I don't know. There's something about you that doesn't fit with the other demons, something about you feels different. Can I get you anything to help with your wings?"

The question surprised them both and Angel just stared suspiciously. "You could get me the hell out of here and to my mate."

"There's another one out there? A female?" he asked instantly, his voice rising slightly with curiosity and disgust.

"No," he snapped. "She's not like me, she's just my mate."

The blonde man looked at his wings again, "What species is she?"

"Human."

"What?" he spat. "A human mated to a demon? That's sick."

Angel opened his mouth to retort but coughed instead, something thick in his throat making it impossible to stop. He continued coughing; eventually dropping to his knees as his hands went to his throat trying to figure out what was happening. He vaguely heard a voice yelling something but couldn't hear what was being said. Finally, just before he thought he was going to pass out from exhaustion his body cleared the obstruction. Without thinking he spit off to the side and stared in horror at the thick black tar now thickly oozing down the wall.

The young man could only watch as the Angel stared at the thick black substance before releasing a scream that held so much pain he almost felt sorry for the creature.

"It's not fair!" he shouted as he continued to scream, throwing himself against the walls as his temper flared. He kicked the wall over and over but nothing happened, not that he expected it to. His wings flapped wildly and black feathers began to separate from the appendages, the force and abuse too much. Finally with no more energy to exert he laid in the middle of the small room staring up at the iridescent lights, his wings crammed underneath him and along the walls.

Not caring how pathetic he looked his head lolled to the side to look at the door where the soldier was still watching him, apprehension and slight concern shining from his green eyes. Their gazes held for a while longer until the boy walked away and Angel released one final scream.


	7. Chapter 7

Angel sat with his back against the wall of his cell staring out at the empty hallway with obvious resentment. It had been over three weeks from what he could gather and he was still trapped in this hole, by humans, it was insulting to say the least. The first few days he had screamed and tried everything he could to free himself but as the days passed the will to fight slowly seemed to bleed out of him. Bone deep weariness began to set in and now instead of doing something he mostly just sat in the back corner of the cell thinking about the past. Some days were spent cursing his entire existence and everyone who played a hand in it, other days were spent pleading with anyone who was listening to just put him out of his misery. It was only in the last week that his mind began to slip into his time in Hell, the time he spent there after Seraphiel threw him into Father knows where.

He shook his head to dispel the thoughts that were already forming and tried to focus again. Done with sitting he stood and began to pace back and forth in agitation, what was left of his wings bristling behind him with built up tension. He never did well when captured, it wasn't in his nature to sit and do nothing and it was killing him to be away from his mate.

He punched the glass and glared when nothing happened. It was hard to swallow but Buffy wasn't coming to rescue him, not by choice he was sure, but because of the simple fact that she had no idea where he was. Hell, he didn't even know exactly where he was.

Dropping back down to the floor in a cross-legged position he stretched his spine and laid his palms gently on his knees to prepare to meditate. Focus, he needed to focus.

Who? Some half-ass human military wannabes he thought to himself.

What? They did tests on demons and from the screams he sometimes heard they also tortured them.

Where? His eyes slid open as he snorted in slight frustration. This was the million-dollar question and he really didn't have a good answer. Trying to focus again he closed his eyes and tried to pull up all the information he had. They were most likely underground because he hadn't picked up any outside noise at all and there seemed to be no natural light. He also had no idea how long he was out so he wasn't sure how far away from the college he was.

When? "Three weeks," he growled.

Why? The group of commandos had taken him thinking he's a demon and he knew to never correct them. He could only assume he was in line to be tested and tortured so they would get to him eventually.

His eyes snapped open as he jumped up and began to pace, automatically falling into his Commander role. "Objective one, get out of this ridiculous cell. Objective two, head for the surface. Casualties: probable. Weapons: none." Out loud it sounded even worse. He noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and turned sharply, his mind working quickly to come up with any semblance of a plan.

"Hey!" he shouted as someone approached the cell. "Hey fish boy." When the soldier turned he nodded. "Yeah you, I'm hungry."

"You don't eat," the boy responded cautiously. "It's been weeks and you haven't eaten."

"Hence me being hungry," he gritted out tiredly. "I require sustenance."

The young man adjusted his weapon and pulled up his radio, "This is Finn, Specimen 178 says it's hungry." Turning he looked at Angel again, "What do you eat?"

"Meat. Raw," he answered immediately, hoping it was animalistic enough to be believable.

"Raw meat," the man said into his walkie with a look of disgust before looking back at him. "What are you?"

Angel rolled his eyes and held up his hands, "The Boogie Man."

Instead of food arriving a short time later two more soldiers showed at the door with guns drawn and Professor Walsh behind them. She smirked after looking him up and down and approached the glass door. "You don't eat and your feeble attempt to make us believe it is pathetic. You've deteriorated from when you were brought here." She lifted her infamous recorder to her mouth and pressed the red record button. "Specimen 178 update, it appears more weakened, skin pale. Wings have not regenerated. It seems to be shaking almost constantly now and seems to be more compliant than before. Hair has not grown, nor fingernails despite length of time spent here. Will do further tests today to try to determine place of origin and species."

Angel's head snapped to her face from where he had been staring absently at the wall, "Tests? What tests?"

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Giles sighed heavily and removed his glasses to polish them, "We have to assume it was some sort of creature because from what we know no human possesses the strength necessary to take down Angel."

"I don't really see a baddy taking down Angel either," Willow added. "He can smite people with his mind. What if it was the angel from the cemetery?"

Buffy paled and swallowed thickly before pushing the thought away, "No. I'm still getting feelings form him and I wasn't when Siripeel took him before. He's desperate, and lonely. Angry. I was getting little hints of fear but in the last few days it's gotten worse. He needs help."

"So he's alone, desperate to get out, scared of where he is or who has him, and he's pissed. So he's stuck in the play area at McDonalds?" Xander offered with a slight shrug. At Willow's expression he held up his hands, "I'm just throwing out ideas. I might not be best friends with the guy but I don't wish him harm."

Willow tapped her chin thoughtfully before sharing her thoughts, "Angel's was pretty distracted before he disappeared, sort of lost. What if a human did get to him by using that to their advantage?"

"Where are you Angel," Buffy moaned, dropping her face into her hands before immense pain and emptiness overtook her. She gasped and choked on the feelings flooding into her before grabbing onto her best friend's arm when she rushed to her side. "Oh God Wills, we have to find him. Fast."

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The door to his cell slid open and the soldiers dropped him in unceremoniously before turning and leaving him. His body was screaming in pain but he couldn't seem to care, he just stared at the ceiling and florescent lights wondering how this could have happened. How had they gotten the drop on him? How could they control him so easily?

Because you're weak.

"You're not really here," he whispered tiredly to the room. "Please just leave me alone."

What if I am really here? What if I've been watching this entire time as you've suffered at the hands of these pathetic humans. You're weak Liam, and you will die because of it and I will rejoice. Where's Father now, where are those that you claim love you?

Angel sat up and shook his head mumbling, "No, no, no," over and over again before his mangled wings caught his eye. "Can't talk to me if I don't have wings," he whispered with a maniacal glint in his onyx eyes. His hands reached behind him and began to pull out the few feathers left, ripping them painfully from their rightful spots. With each pluck he screamed through his teeth in pain and when tar began to seep from the appendages and drip to the floor he ran his fingers through the sticky substance and stared, detached, as it stuck to his skin.

He wasn't going to make it through this. The thought should have scared him but it didn't stir up any emotions at all. There was no more pain or fear, no more anger or regret, just pure apathy.

Angel crawled over to the wall and grabbed a handful of his blood before smearing it across the wall carefully. His hands trembled as he finished what he was doing and scooted back to see his work, to see the message he hoped his slayer would get.

I'm sorry.


End file.
